Season Three, Interlude: “THE OFFER”
TRANSCRIPT

INT. BOWDEN’S L.A. APARTMENT

MUSIC: Transition theme

SFX: A door opens as Gloria and Bowden walk in.

GLORIA
Oh, wow, Bowden! Is this where you’ve been staying while shooting your movies in LA?

BOWDEN
Technically, it belongs to Jason Sudekis, but I “house-sit” while he’s in London. I figured that if you enjoyed San Francisco so much, I should introduce you to the crown jewel of Southern California. Maybe later we could...paint Hollywood red?

GLORIA
Oooh. And exactly what part of Tinseltown would you like to show me?

BOWDEN
Anything you like, as long as we can forget about the spy business for one night.

SFX: Phone ringing

BOWDEN (CONT'D)
Gah, it’s probably my agent Gary.

GLORIA
Ooo, showbiz! Go ahead, take the call.

BOWDEN
Really?

GLORIA
Teach me how the studio system works.

BOWDEN
Well then...lemme put it on speaker so you can...listen in.

GLORIA
(Sexily)
Oooooooh

BOWDEN
Hello?

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
Good evening, Mr. Montcrief.

BOWDEN
Ah Dammit!

GLORIA
You? I thought you were working for Muldrake!

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
Well obviously, when the EMF returned, they were happy to have me back. Couldn’t run the place without me. Regardless, I have been tasked with -

BOWDEN
Wait! If you worked for Muldrake, who is he?

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
(tired of this)
I do not know. Nobody ever sees Muldrake. Now, if we could just return to the matter at hand -

GLORIA
Then where is Muldrake? Where were you working?

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
I negotiated a strict work-from-home arrangement I don’t know who or where Muldrake is. This has NOTHING to do with Muldrake.

BOWDEN
But -

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
MISTER MONTCRIEF. Check your “company” email.

SFX: Bowden's email alert

BOWDEN
What?

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
You have a message from a “Zack Brannigan”.

BOWDEN
Zack?!? What does HE want?

SFX: Bowden brings up his email on his phone.

GLORIA
Wait, wasn’t that the actor who was with you on -

BOWDEN
OH MY GOD!

GLORIA
What’s happened?

BOWDEN
I can’t believe it! They’re...they want to...REVIVE MY OLD TV SHOW, ACQUAINTANCES!

GLORIA
OH MY GOD! BOWDEN! THAT’S AMAZING!

BOWDEN
I KNOW! Wait - did the EMF redact part of this email? And why are YOU calling me about this?

GLORIA
Why would the EMF care about Bowden going back to Acquaintances?

BOWDEN
Ha! Maybe they’re worried fame will go to my head.

GLORIA
Mmmmm

BOWDEN
Okay, you’re right, that’s a fair concern.

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
Mister Montcrief, sit down. There may be...dangerous complications.

BOWDEN
Are you telling me I could be in danger for playing the role of the Boyfriend in Acquaintances?

MISSION VOICE (ON PHONE)
You certainly could be...if you choose to accept it.

MUSIC: Stinger